There is a Forbidden Forest behind our restaurant

There is a forbidden forest behind The Owl! Well, actually it's not The Owl yet, but it will be soon, and when it is we're gonna be getting out our machetes.

Yes you read that right. We got machetes. We have other sharp cutty things too, but I don't know what they're called, so I'm going to focus on the MACHETES! I'm totally excited to try them out.

I am also slightly terrified.

I am terrified for a few reasons. Let's take a look at those reasons in the form of a list.

              Reasons to be afraid of The Forbidden Forest Project

1. Machetes are fucking sharp. They can cut you. And by you I mean me. 
2. Sometimes plants are sharp too. They will also cut you. And sometimes they are  poisonous, which can make you itch. Unless you're Aaron. If you're Aaron your mutant super power is immunity to itchy poison plants, rendering you capable of boldly crashing through thick undergrowth clad in only shorts and flip flops. Ok maybe not flip flops. 
3. Bugs.
4. BUGS!!!!!!!!!
5. Clumsiness. I am clumsy. There's no getting around it. Think of a ridiculous way one might injure oneself while cutting down a Forbidden Forest and I will probably find it. 
6. Bees. 
7. Angry animals who will be mad that we are chopping down their home because  they  don't know that we are still going to have green things growing for them to live in and eat so they attack us with their teeth and claws. 
8. Weird garbage. Our recon on the outer edges of The Forest has already found empty cans and bottles (presumably of an alcoholic nature), random wires, old wood, and a shoe. Who knows what else lies within. 
9. 
   
10. There's a cliff. Way at the back of The Forest. We can't really tell how far down it goes, or how quickly it goes there, from our side of the forest. In the neighboring (slightly less forbidden but still kind of forbidden cause there's a rope barrier and a lot more old wood garbage) forest we can see very far down. Like "oops you're dead cause you fell off this cliff" far. I'm not exaggerating. I might be exaggerating. But still, cliff = scary!!!  

And that is why I am slightly terrified. I really wanted it to be a 10 things long list, but I didn't have a 9th thing. If you happen to know of a 9th thing to be afraid of while cutting down Forbidden Forests please comment! I would hate to get in there, thinking I was safe because I'd made a list of all the things that could harm me, only to discover that the 9th thing I didn't know about was the most horrible scary gross awful thing that can happen to a person in a Forest. 

Assuming we make it through the coming adventure intact we will be converting our Forbidden Forest into a Lovely Garden. In The Lovely Garden we will grow many things. You'll then be able to purchase these things in the forms of burger toppings, vegetables, fries, and salads! The Lovely Garden will also provide a Lovely View for anyone eating out on the patio. If The Forbidden Forest had it's way anyone sitting on the patio would have a terrifying view. And no one likes to be terrified while eating burgers.